What Needn't Be Said
by Morning. xx
Summary: Nott/Bones, Oneshot- Avery Nott doesn't want to do it. He does not want to be a Death Eater. He does not want to do what he is being told to do. -"Kill her."


I read something that made me look from the victim's point of view, and suddenly, I wanted to see what the torturer thought, when the torturer didn't want to do it. I took two random people, and decided that they had been in love with each other. Avery Nott, and Amelia Bones. I don't love it, myself, but I'll leave you all to condemn it.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, I only own this pairing, the memories, and their personalities. Even then, I may be crossing the line...

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** What Needn't Be Said**

I don't want to do it

I don't want to do it. I don't want to feel the wood in my palm seep heat into my hand. I don't want to feel the brand on my arm burn when he calls for me. I don't want to hear the screams.

I don't want this life.

It seemed innocent enough when they called us in, and then again… who am I trying to fool? Innocent? Describing what I do innocent? It is anything but.

In that room, I saw nothing. The darkness kissed my face, welcoming me to this chamber where Hell ruled. It embraced me, whispering that my sins could hide under this blanket. We all fingered our wands, eager to shed light in this dark room, but we didn't want to displease him as Malfoy had done. Even illuminating those who thrive in the dark is punishable. Footsteps echoed outside, tolling like bells. Bells heralding death. They stopped outside the door, and after we all shivered in anticipation, and fear, it opened. In he came, inhuman- reeking of death- and my heart fluttered like a captive bird. Never to be set free from the snake and skull cage. We were all standing, in tribute to our Lord as he continued tolling the bells of Hell for us to hear.

Silence.

"I have a little proposition for you all," He said, voice piercing through the shadows. He whispered something, almost to himself, and the room flared with light. Some weaker than I threw their hands up to cover their eyes, but I stood stonily, pupils retracting painfully. The pain I felt there is nothing compared to the pain that stabs my heart. That pain is called _guilt._

His shadow had whimpered as the light flooded the room, but no one took notice of him. No one wanted to see what happens when you fail. The little _worm_ is kicked, and he cowered, too afraid to fight.

"She is important to them, she judges their prisoners," He continued, eyes flickering from masked face to masked face. "Do you know her? Surely- she judged some of you." The last sentence began innocently, and ended like the fall of a newborn robin from the nest.

He turned to me, and if he had been human, I swear he would've raised an eyebrow, mirth on his lips, eyes dark. "Do you know her?" His voice was barely a whisper, but it sang through the deathly quiet room. Deathly indeed _vol de mort_. "Do you, Nott?"

"Yes." I didn't recognize my voice, hoarse from disuse.

"Who is she?"

I wish I didn't know her name, but I do, and fear made it bubble to my lips. "Amelia Susan Bones."

I used to love her.

"Very good, Nott." As if I were a dog, who had done a trick. "You of all of us should know her."

Under my mask, he couldn't see the angry red flush that burst over my cheeks. He couldn't see the tears that gathered in my eyes, as I knew the next words out of his mouth.

"Kill her. She will be a loss to them." Emotionless. The demon felt nothing. Again, he turned to look at me, and fear constricted my heart. I was not weak, but again, I knew what he was going to say. "Nott, you do it. Dolohov and Greyback will help you keep your nerve."

I tried to speak, but no words emerged. After clearing my throat, I asked "When, my Lord?"

"Tonight." And the bells began to toll again as he left. These bells heralded a death, and inside my mask, I wept bitter tears for her.

And a hand pulls me from my memory, it draws me up from the pool, and I see the face.

'You fell," she says, and I know the voice, though it provokes no memories I wish to remember.

"Thank you, Narcissa."

"Don't."

She sweeps away, and I am left alone once more. Time fades as my decisions come and go. I leave now to kill her, by myself.

I still love her. Still, even after Theodore. After Julianne, yes, even after my perfect wife, who died in childbirth. I had drunk to her death, glad to be rid of the woman, who could never replace Amelia Susan Bones. She didn't know that when we made love, I pictured Amelia instead of her. Julianne, the stick-woman, the unfeeling, the untouchable, could never compare to the curvy, sensual, tangible Amelia.

Amelia. Those letters were etched on the shriveled black remains of my heart. A-M-E-L-I-A.

With a crack, I Disapparate, and come to the building where she lives. I memorized the location, so that I could watch her come and leave. Watch her live, without remembering me at all. Striding through the darkness, midnight singing on Big Ben, I don't want this.

_(Amelia)_

Even in the dark, I can find the button. I know everything about her house. About the outside, that is.

"_Ding, dong."_

The doorbell is so mundane, so like Amelia that a smile nearly comes to me. But knowing what I am here to do sobers me better than any spell ever could.

_(Amelia)_

"Yes?" it opens, the door to her inner sanctum, and she looks at me. I have no mask, I have no evidence of what I do. Save my tattoo, and my intention. "Avery? No, I- _Expecto Pa-_"

"Don't. Amelia, remember me? Remember Hogwarts? Together?" (Remember your head on my shoulder?)

"I don't know you, Avery Nott. I don't know you." She pushes my hand away, her fingers quick and brutal.

_(Amelia)_

"But I know you, Amelia. I always will." (I love you.)

"Tell that to Julianne."

"She's dead." (I don't care about her.)

_(Amelia)_

"Well, _you_ can talk to the dead, can't you, Death Eater? _Expecto-"_

I kiss her. My lips touch hers, and I step forwards, and we retreat into her house, closing the door behind us. I lock it quickly, and wrap my arms around her waist. She pushes me away, but it feels feeble to me. It feels like she wants me there.

I don't want to do this.

_(Amelia)_

She yields to me, and her previously protesting hands slide around my neck, where they used to rest. My hands whisper over the fabric of her robe, over to the tie under her neck. I can barely count the number of times this happened in Hogwarts.

She pulls back, breaking free of my lips and hands, "No!" she gasps, hands pressed over the tie. "No, no, Avery I- no."

I kiss her again, silencing what needn't be said.

_(Amelia)_

My wand comes out of my pocket, and as my arms go around her neck, my wand is at her back. I know the spell, I can do it silently, I can kill her while she's remembering. "Amelia," I whisper into her mouth. "Avery…" she replies.

(Avada Kadavra.)

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End file.
